10 Donald Trump: You yell too much. The Trump has had a wild year, and most recently the shalacking he took from Barrack Obama during the Correspondents Dinner has him on shaky ground. Becoming the most famous Birther isn’t a good pedestal for anyone either. If he’s serious about running for president he needs help, weed is a good place to start.
9 Dane Cook: He’s already one of the funniest comedians ever, and especially of the last decade. That’s why it would be for the benefit of everyone if he added a little stoner inspiration to his jokes. And for those who think he’s just wacky, maybe a little pot will slow him down just enough. Can you imagine Dane Cook stoned, that’s like if “hilarious” had an orgasm.
8 Kid Cudi: You wouldn’t think he would need to be on this list, right? During his last tour Kid Cudi announced that he is going to start taking it easy on the weed smoke. Fuck that. That’s false advertising. Kid Cudi blasted on to the scene in 2009 with Man on the Moon, and instantly won the hearts of stoners everywhere. Hey Mr. Cudder, it’s too late to go back now.
7 Phil Jackson: After what the Lakers have done to you in your last year of coaching, you deserve a relaxing retirement. And we don’t want you trying to come back and coach the Wizards or something. I mean really Michael Jordan, the Wizards, you should be on this list too. Put your money together and get a vaporizer.
6 Rosie Huntington-Whiteley: In a short time she’s taken over Megan Fox’s role in the new transormers and she’s #1 on Maxim Magazines 2011 Hot List. Smoking some weed might keep her humble at a time when she has no reason to be. I don’t think Transformers geeks could take it if we lost another hottie to her own pride. Plus, seeing Rosie smoking ganja would go straight into the “Best Day Ever” mental category. “What’s that Rosie, you need help rolling that blunt!”
5 Glenn Beck: We already know he loves weed. Or at least he thinks it should be legalized. Or at least that’s what it sounded like he said on his controversial Fox news broadcast. Whatever, it’s hard to tell what any of these Fox guys really think. But Beck might have a chance. Besides his illogical hatred of everything democratic, he really is a down home guy who likes to use common sense. All he needs is a toke to straighten him out a little.
4 The Entire Cast of ‘Glee’: You guys are part of the Glee Club, you really shouldn’t be dealing with so much drama. Pack yourselves into Cory Monteith’s trailer, pack some bowls, and hotbox the hell out of that thing. Then come back next season funnier, more creative, and glee-er than ever. Of course if Cory started smoking weed, stoner girls would be that much harder to find, seeing as they’d all be stalking him.
3 Prince William: He’s married now so it’s all down hill. His wild life of leading troops into war, and basically just doing whatever he wants is over. Who would give up being a royal bachelor? Even with a wife as hot as Princess Kate Middleton, boredom is inevitable. Especially when you are forced to go castle dinner after castle dinner each with a 2 hour introduction. The last thing we need is for when he become’s king, to start looking to re-ignite old battles with France as a way of thrill seeking. At least if he’s stoned his job of smiling as a relatively useless figurehead will be that mush easier
2 Barrack Obama: How can Amercians feel safe knowing their president isn’t smoking a little ganja to stay sane. In times like these with war, a recession, a volatile political climate, and a constantly impending apocalypse he needs a calm perspective. “Hey Michelle *cough* *cough* why is everyone so mad, you know… *cough* *cough* I’m just gonna focus on what matters;
making sure the poor and sick don’t die, and we all appreciate life”.
1 Charlie Sheen: For a while there we were all pretty worried. There’s nothing wrong with realizing that you live a good life, and giving all your naysayers a good kick in the tush, but you are getting old. It’s time too leave the red bulls, vodka, whore parties, and cocaine to the youngsters and stick to the reefer.