Stoner Guide to Buying Eyedrops: Rhoto V, Irie Eyes, Clear Eyes etc.

We’ve all been there. Right after smoking a big bowl, blunt, or vaporizer bag we realize we have to go into the public, but our eyes are too red. Walking around with red eyes is a dead giveaway. Everybody knows that someone with bloodshot eyes is a stoner, or maybe a crying girlfriend, but probably a stoner.

The question is which eye drops should you buy, and from where. The where is easy. It’s best if you go to a gas station. They have the smallest number of people. And they always have clear eyes, which is perhaps the best brand of eye drops. But if you want to make things a little more complicated, there are a number of of other brands that you can buy online and from grocery stores.

1. Rhoto V: This is the most popular brand of eye drops among stoners. Rhoto V is like an avalanche for your eyes. If your eyes are sensitive these might be too much for you.

The first time I used them I was afraid it had acid in it and I would subsequently be blind. That’s probably because I was stoned but it’s a pretty intense experience. They work really well too.

2. Visine: Visine is a large brand, but in the opinion of most stoners they are the worst eye drops available. If you attempt to use Visine to get you out of “red eye trouble”, it will most likely fail you. Visine not only fails to clear the red from your eyes, but it will cause your eyes to glaze. Whoever sees you will probably think you’re on meth.

3. Irie Eyes: This is a brand of eye drops that is specifically marketed to stoners. They come in a Rastafarian colored package. If you want to buy these you’ll most likely have to do it online. These work well and add a bit of style to eye drop needs. Check them out at IrieEyes.com

4. Clear Eyes: Clear eyes really do give you very clear eyes. This is the one brand that absolutely never fails. Your eyes will be so white people will think you’re Jesus. Sometimes Clear Eyes works too well, no one naturally has perfectly white eyes after all. This is the brand I would recommend.

5. Generic Brands: Generic brand eyedrops from grocery stores are always a risk. If you’re going to buy these remember they copy the ingredient of whatever brand they are trying to emulate. So if they say “compare to Visine” it’ll probably work like Visine, which means not at all. If you buy generic get the one’s that say, “compare to Clear Eyes”.

6. Other Brands: There are a lot of much smaller brands of eye drops you can try. Some are made for people who have tear duct malfunctions and some for people with contacts. You have to be careful because they don’t all provide redness relief. If you go out and buy a specialty brand make sure it works before you test it in public.

77 Ways To Know That You Are Way Too Stoned

We’ve all been there. You smoke and you realize at some point that you got way higher than you thought you would or it creeps up on you and hits you all at once. Then you are past the point of no return. You instantly turn into a vegetable that will only move to get food or to make your way to your bed.  You still feel lovely though.

It happens to the best of us.  Here are 77 ways that I (or my friends) have experienced that let us know that we may have had too much that evening.

You know you are way too stoned when….

 

1. You can’t hit your bowl cause it’s clogged with resin
2. You light your cigarette the wrong way
3. When you realize that the song you thought you were listening to ended ten minutes ago
4. When you decide to found your own religion entirely based on the eating of Doritos
5. You are tired of talking midway through a sentence
6. Your bags are empty and you don’t know why
7. When you find yourself at McDonald’s with no money because you spent it on weed
8. When you say a joke to someone who originally said that same joke to you
9. When you talk to your cat and get angry because it’s not replying
10. When you talk to your cat and it actually is replying
11. If you play through just one level of a video game, then look over and find the clock has somehow skipped five hours
12. When you cough up a lugie and it tastes like bong water
13. When you stare at a TV that’s not even turned on because you don’t feel like turning it on
14. You put your lighter in your mouth and try to light it with your bowl. (true story)
15. When you put sentences together like George Bush
16. When your friend tells you to roll another blunt, and half an hour later you wonder why no one’s smoking
17. When you go to Wendy’s and pass out with your face in your french fries
18. When you decide its a good idea to moon a police officer
19. When everything is just a little too funny
20. When walking to your kitchen seems like an epic journey
21. When you start to do one thing, get distracted by another and never even remember that you started the original thing
22. When you wake up still high and rush to work only to realize that this is your day off
23. When you fall asleep 5 minutes after starting a movie
24. When you stop at a stop sign and wait for it to turn green
25. When you load a bowl without dumping the ash out of the last one, you cant pull a hit, and fuck up a bowl of good weed having to dump out a half burning bowl and watch it crumble into black powder
26. You spend 30 minutes searching for something and then realize that it was in your hand all along
27. You pour anything but milk into your cereal
28. Someone says hi to you and you reply 45 minutes later because you just realize what they said
29. You drive 40mph on the highway
30. You drive 10mph on the street
31. When you get excited because you beat your dog in a staring contest
32. When you call to order a pizza, wait 2 hours and realize that you never actually ordered it
33. When it takes you 10 minutes to figure out how to operate a seat belt
34. When you go grocery shopping and the only thing you buy is pop rocks, nerds, and every single wonka candy you find
35. When you just can’t stop coughing
36. When you forget to put water in the bong
37. When your bong is taller than your dog
38. It takes you 25 minutes to roll a joint
39. When the Taco Bell employees know you by name
40. You’re eating something on your way home thinking about what you’re gonna eat when you get home
41. When you start stealing friends lighters
42. when you try to leave the house but had to go back in 6 times to individually retrieve your wallet, cell phone, lighter, keys, drink, and hat that you remembered to bring, one at a time
43. You call burger king and ask if they deliver
44. When you try to figure out ways to smoke the roaches
45. When you misplace a 3 foot bong, that you just used
46. When you don’t have anything to drink so you drink the juice from a can of fruit
47. When you think everyone thinks you’re really stoned
48. When you look like this….
49. When you “accidentally” kiss your girlfriends sister thinking it was her
50. You are out of weed so you try chewing on sticks and seeds
51. Spend an hour trying to find a specific DVD only to realize you left it in the DVD player
52. When you enjoy not being able to move
53. When you’ve lost your lighter, again
54. When you start a sentence and then half way through you forget what you were going to say
55. When you swear you see police cars behind you and you haven’t even started the car yet
56. When you forget where you put the rest of the weed or the dutch
57. When you read a blog post and can’t even make it to number 57 in it without getting distracted by the fridge
58. When you get lost in your own house
59. When you have a baggie but no papers so you roll a joint with a page from the phone book
60. When almost any song sounds good to you
61. When you’ll eat just about anything
62. When you change your order at a drive thru like three times and end up with everything you asked for
63. When you can’t say “Say No To Drugs” without laughing hysterically
64. When you spend 4 hours walking 3 big circles around town just to find a good place to smoke more
65. When you forget what you were watching during the commercial break
66. You are late and stoned to everywhere you go
67. When you watch your favorite TV show on mute while you listen to your iPod
68. When you and your friends keep playing a crappy video game because no one feels like switching it
69. When you wake up at 6………………………….. PM
70. When you roll up a blunt, forget about it, and then find it a few days later and wonder where it came from
71. When you cook after getting the munchies and you forget about your find and don’t find it until tomorrow
72. When you get a board game and you are too lazy to read the directions so you make up your own rules
73. When You Wait For 4:20 to hit..And its 4:29 before you realized you were sopposed to smoke 9 minutes ago..
74. You accidentally light your hair on fire instead of the blunt
75. When you are at Jack in the Box and you don’t even remember how you got there
76. You have or know someone who has done more than 20 things on this list
77. You browse our blog every day, you’re our friend on facebook, you follow us on twitter, and you stop in daily to pick up bud & say hi to all of your favorite budtenders: Tino, Chelsea, Daniel, Rebecca and Jaclyn!

Hope everyone has a safe weekend! Stay safe & don’t forget to keep checking back for menu updates & new posts!