Marijuana Jokes

So, we found a list of Marijuana jokes. I know some of our loyal patients would love this list, so I’m putting it on our blog for everyone to read. Enjoy! And leave your own jokes in the comment section!

Q: Why is the roach clip called a roach clip?
A: Because pot holder was taken
Q: How do you get a one-armed stoner out of a tree?
A: Wave.
Q: What do you get when you eat marijuana ?
A: A pot belly
Q: What do you call a pot smoker with two spliffs?
A: Double jointed.
Q: How do you know when you have smoked enough pot ?
A: When you start looking around for the directions on how to use the lighter.
Q: How do you know your a pothead?
A: You studied five days for a urine test?
Q: What do you call a pothead that doesn’t inhale?
A: Mr. President.
Q: What’s the point of a weed wacker?
A: Weed wackers need to wack it too!
Q: How do fish party ?
A: Seaweed.
Q: Why did the pot head plant cheerios?
A: He thought they were donut seeds.
Q: What do you call a person who remembers what they did at woodstock ?
A: A Liar.
Q: What do you call one bowl between three tokers ?
A: Malnutrition.
Q: What do you call it when a roach ash burns your shirt?
A: A pot hole!
Q: How do you know you are a true stoner?
A: When your bong gets washed more than your dishes!
Q: What is Reality?
A: An illusion caused by a lack of good weed.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk guy and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green! A stoner called the fire department and said, “Come quick my house is on fire!” The Fireman asked “How do we get there?” The stoner says “DUH, in a big red truck!”
Q: How many potheads does it take to change a lightbulb.
A: Screw it, we got lighters
Q. How long does it take before a pound of bud goes bad?
A. I don’t know! I’ve never had it longer than an hour!
Q: How do you hide pot from a hippie?
A: Put it in his work boots.
Q: What is the difference between politicians and stoners ?
A: Politicians don’t inhale…they just suck.
Q. What do you call a stoner that just broke up with his girlfriend?
A. Homeless.
Q. What’s the difference between a stoner and a tweeker?
A. When a pothead is driving down a road he is driving about 20 mph and eating the upholstery. When a tweeker is driving down a road he is driving about 200 mph, and talking to the upholstery.
Q. If there are two potheads in the back of a car, then who is driving?
A. The cop!
Q. Why did the stoner cross the street?
A. His dealer lived on the other side.
Q: What do a bad football team and a pothead have in common?
A: They both get blitzed!
Q: How do you hide money from a hippie?
A: Put it under the soap.
Q: How many Stoners does it take to change a light bulb
A: Who cares man, its to bright in here anyway!
Q: How did the pothead burn his ear?
A: He answered the phone while ironing his clothes
Q. How do you get an one-armed hippie out of a tree?

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