77 Ways to Know That You Are Way Too Stoned

77 Ways You Should Know That You Are Way Too Stoned

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We’ve all been there. You smoke and you realize at some point that you got way higher than you thought you would or it creeps up on you and hits you all at once. Then you are past the point of no return. You instantly turn into a vegetable that will only move to get food or to make your way to your bed.  You still feel lovely though.

It happens to the best of us.  Here are 77 ways that I (or my friends) have experienced that let us know that we may have had too much that evening.

You know you are way too stoned when….

  1. You can’t hit your bowl cause it’s clogged with resin
  2. You light your cigarette the wrong way
  3. When you realize that the song you thought you were listening to ended ten minutes ago
  4. When you decide to found your own religion entirely based on the eating of Doritos
  5. You are tired of talking midway through a sentence
  6. Your bags are empty and you don’t know why
  7. When you find yourself at McDonald’s with no money because you spent it on weed
  8. When you say a joke to someone who originally said that same joke to you
  9. When you talk to your cat and get angry because it’s not replying
  10. When you talk to your cat and it actually is replyingstoned_545x408shkl
  11. If you play through just one level of a video game, then look over and find the clock has somehow skipped five hours
  12. When you cough up a lugie and it tastes like bong water
  13. When you stare at a TV that’s not even turned on because you don’t feel like turning it on
  14. You put your lighter in your mouth and try to light it with your bowl. (true story)
  15. When you put sentences together like George Bush 
  16. When your friend tells you to roll another blunt, and half an hour later you wonder why no one’s smoking
  17. When you go to Wendy’s and pass out with your face in your french fries
  18. When you decide its a good idea to moon a police officer
  19. When everything is just a little too funny
  20. When walking to your kitchen seems like an epic journey
  21. When you start to do one thing, get distracted by another and never even remember that you started the original thing
  22. When you wake up still high and rush to work only to realize that this is your day off
  23. When you fall asleep 5 minutes after starting a moviesleep_545x377shkl
  24. When you stop at a stop sign and wait for it to turn green
  25. When you load a bowl without dumping the ash out of the last one, you cant pull a hit, and fuck up a bowl of good weed having to dump out a half burning bowl and watch it crumble into black powder
  26. You spend 30 minutes searching for something and then realize that it was in your hand all along
  27. You pour anything but milk into your cereal
  28. Someone says hi to you and you reply 45 minutes later because you just realize what they said
  29. You drive 40mph on the highway
  30. You drive 10mph on the street
  31. When you get excited because you beat your dog in a staring contest
  32. When you call to order a pizza, wait 2 hours and realize that you never actually ordered it
  33. When it takes you 10 minutes to figure out how to operate a seat belt
  34. When you go grocery shopping and the only thing you buy is pop rocks, nerds, and every single wonka candy you findc_545x398shkl
  35. When you just can’t stop coughing
  36. When you forget to put water in the bong
  37. When your bong is taller than your dog
  38. It takes you 25 minutes to roll a joint
  39. When the Taco Bell employees know you by name
  40. You’re eating something on your way home thinking about what you’re gonna eat when you get home
  41. When you start stealing friends lighters
  42. when you try to leave the house but had to go back in 6 times to individually retrieve your wallet, cell phone, lighter, keys, drink, and hat that you remembered to bring, one at a time
  43. You call burger king and ask if they deliver
  44. When you try to figure out ways to smoke the roaches
  45. When you misplace a 3 foot bong, that you just used
  46. When you don’t have anything to drink so you drink the juice from a can of fruit
  47. When you think everyone thinks you’re really stoned
  48. When you look like this….hearts18stoned_545x727shkl
  49. When you “accidentally” kiss your girlfriends sister thinking it was her
  50. You are out of weed so you try chewing on sticks and seeds
  51. Spend an hour trying to find a specific DVD only to realize you left it in the DVD player
  52. When you enjoy not being able to move
  53. When you’ve lost your lighter, again
  54. When you start a sentence and then half way through you forget what you were going to say
  55. When you swear you see police cars behind you and you haven’t even started the car yet
  56. When you forget where you put the rest of the weed or the dutch
  57. When you read a blog post and can’t even make it to number 57 in it without getting distracted by the fridge
  58. When you get lost in your own house
  59. When you have a baggie but no papers so you roll a joint with a page from the phone book
  60. When almost any song sounds good to you
  61. When you’ll eat just about anything4-guinea-pig_545x409shkl
  62. When you change your order at a drive thru like three times and end up with everything you asked for
  63. When you can’t say “Say No To Drugs” without laughing hysterically
  64. When you spend 4 hours walking 3 big circles around town just to find a good place to smoke more
  65. When you forget what you were watching during the commercial break
  66. You are late and stoned to everywhere you go
  67. When you watch your favorite TV show on mute while you listen to your iPod
  68. When you and your friends keep playing a crappy video game because no one feels like switching it
  69. When you wake up at 6………………………….. PM
  70. When you roll up a blunt, forget about it, and then find it a few days later and wonder where it came from
  71. When you cook after getting the munchies and you forget about your find and don’t find it until tomorrow
  72. When you get a board game and you are too lazy to read the directions so you make up your own rules
  73. When You Wait For 4:20 to hit..And its 4:29 before you realized you were sopposed to smoke 9 minutes ago..
  74. You accidentally light your hair on fire instead of the blunthair-on-fire_545x409shkl
  75. When you are at Jack in the Box and you don’t even remember how you got there
  76. You have or know someone who has done more than 20 things on this list
  77. You browse Hail Mary Jane everyday, Subscribe to the feed, or follow me on twitter (shameless plug)

What did I miss? I want to hear some of your crazy “you know your too stoned” situations.

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