42 Ways To Tell If Someone May Be A Stoner


Stoner friends are the best. If you have no bud, they might have some and come and blaze with you. You laugh together, cry together, and cough up smoke together. Finding new smoking buddies makes me very excited but you have to be careful trying to find new friends who smoke because afterall, it is illegal and all.

Have you ever been suspicious of a co-worker or friend being a stoner but you weren’t sure? Here are 42.0 ways for you to find out if you potentially have a new smoking buddy or not. These are not all true for every smoker so they won’t always apply but many of them apply to many smokers.

Hopefully no cops are reading this.  If you are a cop, leave my page immediately, but click on some ads before you go.

  1. They always have a lighter, but you never see them smoke
  2. They always smell like weed
  3. You go to their house and hailmaryjane.com is in their browsing history.
  4. You see them hop out of this van.
  5. If you ask them a question, every single response is “what? or “what did you say man?”
  6. If you are a stoner yourself, usually you can just tell.  Sort of like a stoner 6th sense.
  7. If they are funny and usually calm.
  8. Sometimes you see them and their eyes are red as hell and others they aren’t.
  9. They are always “tired.”
  10. Check the bottom of their lighter. If it has black marks on the bottom of their lighter, you know they been using it to push down bowls / snub out joints.
  11. Their lighter has no safety
  12. If they smoke cigarettes, they hold it between their index and thumb, instead of between their middle find and index.
  13. Their DVD collection includes half baked, how high, pineapple express, or any number of the other movies on this list.
  14. They are always smiling.
  15. They walk, move and/or talk slowly.
  16. Half the cardboard has been ripped off their pack of papers
  17. They like it big…
  18. Burnt finger tips
  19. Burnt lips aka smokers lip.
  20. Their ipod contains songs from this list.
  21. They always take a break at work at 4:20 pm.
  22. Stoners usually have baggy eyes, whether they are high or not.
  23. If you have dreads you are probably a stoner, if you are white and have dreads you are almost certainly a stoner.stoner-791927
  24. If they own a long board.  Where do you think they are riding? To go get stoned, duh!
  25. They use the term “dank for almost anything.  (Dank food, dank drinks, dank bud, etc.)
  26. They wear sun glasses at night
  27. They are very good with fractions (1/8ths, 1/4ths, 1/2ths, etc.) and conversions (28.3 g=1 ounce and 16o= 1 pound)
  28. If they are wearing a Bob Marley, Kottonmouth Kings, or Cypress Hill tee,
  29. They use Rohto eye drops.  Most people will just use visine but all real stoners know that Rohto is king.Coupon Outline
  30. They are a graduate of Oaksterdam University.
  31. They are from California, Amsterdam or Jamaica.  This isn’t a guarantee but I’ll usually put money on people from these places being stoners.
  32. You meet them at 3am at 7-11 buying two hot dogs, a bag of doritos, skittles, and a 2 liter bottle of pepsi; while you are buying the same thing.
  33. They always got some intellectual shit to say even though its usually irrelevant.
  34. Their favorite color is green, or purple.
    6-24-08 PurpleWreck (4)
  35. They wear clothes made out of hemp.
  36. You met them at Ziggy Marley concert.
  37. They haven’t shaven in weeks (sometimes, or they might just be grimey)
  38. They pull their cigarette like a blunt.
  39. They dress like a hippy.
  40. Even their pets know how to get it in.
  41. They can barely make it to the end of a list like this without getting distracted.
  42. Ask them.  Most of the time it will be fine as long as you are not asking a cop, a teacher, or your boss.

Shout outs to my friends at grass cityThis post inspired this post from me.  Did I forget anything?  Leave it in the comments people.

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